eternalturnkey | Taoists?

Taoists?

(Continued from here.)

It had been several days since she had gone to wake Miko, several days since she had angered her. She had hoped that Miko might forgive her by this point, but she could feel it wouldn't be so easy. She had to make it right, but it was awkward.

Finally when she could no longer take the feeling of being punished she went to Miko's room to request an audience. Or more just to speak with her.

"Taishi sama," she spoke of softly from the other side. Even if Miko could not tell desires it was obvious she was worried and distressed. "I understand if you refuse me, for I much deserve it. But allow for me to at least express my deepest apologies properly...."

Even though she was still outside, she was kneeling down with her forehead to the floor.

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She slowly increased her pace so she would not go too fast. Gentleness to make up for her shame.

It certainly was enough to get Miko's voice a bit louder, and she tried to tell her what she had done was good... but it sort of got lost in a breathless moan.

With that moment, she definitely felt herself inch closer and closer to the peak, and she felt the familiar warm sensation all throughout her as she finally hit the last bit. There wasn't a particularly loud cry or anything, just a sort of strained noise as her whole body tensed enough it hurt in a sort of good way before she slowly melted back into Futo.

As she felt Miko tense and then ultimately relax she eased her motions, though slowly, finally retracting her fingers and warping both arms around Miko's waist. She laid her head on Miko's shoulder, letting some of her hair fall forward and did nothing but hold her tightly.

"Please... please let such things not come to pass again."

She took a moment to respond, mostly because of her labored breathing.

"If we have come to our understanding, then we will never have to again."

"We have... we very much have," she could almost cry again, she almost felt like it. She could feel it just below the surface daring to break. As it to hold it in she tightened her hold around Miko.

"Good," she leaned back into the touch, stroking Futo's hair yet more. "Relax. All is well for now."

"But... even though I feel much more secure, and content and sure, I committed a great wrong, and felt much loss," she spoke softly, closing her eyes as she continued. "I am becoming aware that I have a need to speak up... and air the thoughts of my mind directly. Which in and of itself feels a tremendous difficulty."

It was becoming all too clear that she relied too much on Miko understanding her through desires alone.

"May I make a request?"

"That you have come to realize that is a step to ensuring such a situation never happens again, you realize," Miko replied, turning her head to kiss the side of Futo's the best she could with her angle.

"Speak, then, if you wish."

"I am sad to lose the comfort of my previous assumptions however..." but on to her request. She doesn't speak up right away however, allowing a moment to hang first.

"Will you hold me?"

"If that is the extent of your current desire..." Miko shifted a bit to get out of Futo's grasp so they could, in a way, switch positions. "I believe I can, and will, grant that."

Once shifted she laied her head back down against Miko's shoulder.

"I feel at ease when you are close... it is comforting."

"Such is the power of that curious little emotion they call 'love', hm?" Miko smiled, extremely fondly, as she pulled Futo into a nice, warm, close embrace.

"I have always felt comfort at your proximity. Few have ever left me feeling so at ease to be near them."

"Well, it's to be expected, I suppose," she tilted her head a bit. "The desires of your heart are fairly obvious to the one they're directed toward, after all."

"Are you saying I am easy to understand, or that you find I am easy to understand?"

"Clarify that sentence a bit, Futo."

"Do you personally find me easy to understand, or am I simply easy to perceive by others?"

"I'd say the former, for the most part. If it were so easy for others to discover you..." she laughed. "Ah, I wouldn't have gotten away with all that I did."

"I would hope when I am wishing to conceal my intentions they are hardly anywhere near easy to see... but at the same time, I have felt isolated when I wished others to understand."

"Is it not because at times you yourself are so unsure that your desires get all mixed up in each other and so tangled they don't come out properly? At least, that seems to be the problem I get: you don't precisely know what you want, so the desire that shines through the strongest isn't always the one you want it to, or perhaps, it gets confused with others."

"I honestly do not know, perhaps that is so. I have always felt much clearer when in your company however, and can see the path ahead of me without obscurity."

"There is still uncertainty within you, however, at times. And when it confuses your own desires, it then doesn't appear clearly to me. And it is not as though the end result is usually what gets muddled, but your own desire for doing it, for asking it of me or for speaking it aloud, and that's where it gets hung up."

"In that respect I must be a terrible student... to so quickly lose my way."

"One cannot truly help their insecurities and hangups, you realize," Miko smiled, trying to be reassuring. "You can merely try to be more aware of them."

"I will try my best," though at the moment she was content not thinking too much about all that. "For now I simply wish to stay as is."

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